I get home and I realize my whole room is re-arranged (and now that I'm awake I realize that the room in my dream is not my current room, but one of the rooms in the house when I lived on Roselyn). I used to have this pretty huge beige desk with two LCDs for my computer, and now it was this little kid's white desk with a single LCD.

As I'm standing there, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, this Asian woman walks in, and for some reason, I know she's Japanese (I have the memory of having heard her speak Japanese, even though there's no reasonable point in the dream for this to have occurred). So I say 「おはいよう」 (I think this is the first time I dream in Japanese; it's pretty cool that a lot of the people who can read my blog actually speak some Japanese, so that I don't need to translate) and before I can correct myself (since I deduced it was no longer morning since I just arrived home), she responds with 「おはいよう、　げんき　ですか？」.

I nod, and she starts saying this long sentence in Japanese. It's about 7 syllables in that I realize there's no freaking way I'm going to figure out what she's saying, so I say 「すみません。。。」 but she just keeps going. I do this maybe 3 or 4 times, including hand gestures like raising my hand, palm facing her, to say stop, or with my index finger pointed up, and others curled, to mean wait a moment. Finally, she stops, and the last syllables were 「えいが？」 I was still processing these signals when I said 「えいご。。。」 (English Language) and was about to add 「できますか」 (are you capable?) when she nodded a bit impatiently, and then I wondered "Oh, did 「えいが」 mean she was asking me if I wanted it in English", and in the dream, I learned some new Japanese, but now that I'm awake, I skeptical that my subconscious knows more (correct) Japanese than I do, so I wouldn't count on 「えいが」 being correct.

Anyway, I don't remember the exact wording of the English conversation, but the gist is that she cleaned my room, and replaced my computer with another one. This is when I stop her and say "Wait, you REPLACED my computer?" and I look at the screen, and realize it's running some sort of version of Linux instead of Windows XP. It sort of looks like Fedora Linux, with the white-grey-blue theme, but the wallpaper says "Lenovo" (and yes, apparently I had no problem reading throughout this dream).

Again, I forget the exact wording for the rest of the conversation, but I'm basically terribly upset, and she says she's going to go, and I tell her she can't go until she shows me where the computer is, and she says she sent it to get the harddrive duplicated, and I asked in shock "You sent it to another company?" and she said yes, and I asked when it would come back, and she said she didn't know, so I told her if we could call the company, and she said yes, and I got out my cell expecting her to tell me the number while saying I'm gonna tell them to skip copying my harddrive.

She nodded, and told me "1111-1010" (yeah, phone numbers are 8 digits in my dream world), and dialed it as she said so on a speaker-phone. An exhausted-sounding male voice answered and said something along the lines of "Hey, I'm really sick right now, so I'll call you back later, okay?" and hung up.

I stood there in kind of a WTF moment for a while, before I went to the Linux machine and asked her what's the website, and she said the guy's too sick, and I said that's irrelevant, 'cause it's not like he has to pedal on a bicycle to power the website. I entered "1111-1010" into the google bar on the top right corner of Firefox, and it took me straight to a site (the bar apparently works like "I'm feeling Lucky" in my dream).

At the top of the page, it says, in big letters, "Burnaby.ca", and the girl, who BTW now suddenly looks like a Philippine woman in her 20s, says "I wonder why Burnaby is so expensive" (Those are her exact words, and it might not be clear here, but in the dream, it was very clear that she meant she had sent my computer to Burnaby and was complaining about how expensive it was). (Also, I never checked before whether I dreamed in color or not, but this topic was sort of on my mind tonight after reading an article about it, and I can now confirm that I do dream in color. I'm not sure whether the rest of the dream was in color, but I remember seeing some vivid bright blue on this webpage).

My eyes scan down the page to see where this "1111-1010" shows up, and I start to notice that this page was some sort of message posted on a bulletin board. I look back up at the "Burnaby.ca" text at the top of the page, and I realize it's an advertisement banner. Then I look up at the address bar URL, and I see it's something like "urnj.com/home/index?cfm", in other words, clearly not "Burnaby.ca".

I click on the Burnaby.ca banner, and get taken to the Burnaby.ca site, which is very recognizably a phpBB bulletin board, and the forum names are like "Canadian Assassin", "Rogue", "Ranger" and shit like that.

I turn around, using the momentum of the spin to add to the punch that I landed against the girl's jaw, knocking her onto the group, and I shout "You fucking cunt!"

I forget the exact wording of the next exchange, but basically I'm asking her where the computer really is, but it's rhetorical, because I tell her that I'm guessing her master plan is to dupe the harddrive, look for all the passwords and personal info and shit, and do identity theft and take all the money out of my bank account, and maybe blackmail.

Then I bite her, and it ends up I'm biting her on one of her breasts (I don't know what happened to the shirt, but it was direct teeth on flesh), and that's when the dream became lucid. I didn't feel anything when I punched her, but I could feel her gelatinous fat, and my teeth sinking into it. I didn't taste anything, but I don't know if that's because my sense of taste simply wasn't activated in this dream, or if it was because there was simply nothing to taste (I didn't feel any liquid blood pool up in my mouth).

I was so surprised by this sudden sensation that I woke up.