Today I pwned a telemarketer. Telemarketers tend to follow a script when making a pitch, so it's highly possible that you may adapt a similar tactic should the telemarketer employ a similar script.

When the telemarketer first contacted me, she claimed to be from my credit card company. She also had a very thick American accent, such that it was very difficult for me to understand her. As an aside, try to imagine how thick an American accent someone has to have in order for a North American raised on American TV shows like The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, South Park, etc., to be unable to understand said accent.

She said something about protection against fraud in case my credit card gets stolen, etc. I'm already kind of iffy on the idea. She says she'll send me a package, and if I'm unhappy with whatever this thing is, I can cancel within 30 days no charge. Now I'm sure I don't want it (for reasons which I may get in a later post), but all this time, she hasn't given me a chance to speak yet. She concludes with informing me that to avoid clerical errors, this portion of the call will be recorded, and asks me to state my address.

"Yeah, well, I don't want this thing if I have to cancel it later on," I say.

She mentions something along the lines of "fastest growing whatever in the industry", and this tells me she's not really from my credit card company after all.

"Ok... but I don't want to go through the hassle of canceling this later on."

She then says something about how easy it'll be to cancel, if I want to.

"Yeah, well I'm already having trouble getting off of this phone call, so I'm not so confident about how easy it'll be to cancel later on."

I think she spotted the catch-22 I had put her in, so she thanked me for my time, wished me a pleasant evening, etc. and we hung up.

I don't hate telemarketers, or think they're the scum of the earth or anything like that. They're doing their job, just like anyone else. I don't like pwnage of telemarketers in the form of putting them on hold for hours or blaring a siren into it, etc.. It's punishment out of proportion for the "crime" commited, and I don't even consider what telemarketers do to be a crime.