[Movie Review]

When I saw the previews for Crank, I was optimistic. It was advertised as The Transporter, except more, and that sounded like a good thing. In terms of action (and gore), it is indeed more, but the fighting actually seems quite sloppy, instead of elegant like it did in The Transporter. And the plausibility of a lot of scenes was just too low for me. For example, towards the end of the movie, how the hell could the Chinese Triad just show up on the rooftop with nobody noticing... and when the adrenaline runs out, and the protagonist is firing haphazardly into the statues of horse jockeys, why the hell aren't the Chinese firing too?

In a lot of action movies, if you're a young male, you'll think "That main protagonist is so cool. I wish I could be cool like that." This movie didn't do it for me. I thought the Al Qaeda joke was inappropriate, and he was trampling over innocent bystanders in a hospital. If the cops are chasing you, and you need to shove someone out of the way to make your escape, fine. But calmly walking around knocking people over is just plain rude. What's up with that?

Even 30 seconds after the movie ends, I'm trying to think back for a memorable scene, and nothing's coming up for me. I can't recommend this movie. No score given.

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1. Leafy Person said:
Yeah, I was disappointed too. I thought he would beat the poison curse, but all he did was running around, trying to outrun the effects of the poison But the most annoying inconsistency in the film is his incomprehensible tolerance for his moronic skank of a girlfriend. I would have shot her in the face the minute she opens her mouth to whine. She makes Paris Hilton look like Einstein.
Posted on Wed November 29th, 2006, 3:59 PM EST acknowledged

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