日本語 

Kilree's going to Japan next week and he doesn't know Japanese, doesn't know Japan, and doesn't have a Japanese person to accompany him. With that in mind, I present to you Nebu's Survial Guide in Japan. If you can see this note, it means I haven't verified all this information with someone from Japan, so some parts may be inaccurate.

First of all, here's a list of handy phrases. I write them out first in Kana/Kanji, then in Romaji, then I do a word by word literal translation, then a natural English translation. The word by word literal translation is to allow you to break up the sentence into their component words and to try to compose new sentences if you'd like. I recommend you copy and paste this into your favorite word editor and print it out, incase your pronounciation is off, you can just point to the text. Also note that in romaji, "g" is always the hard "g" as in "game" and not the soft "g" as in "gym". So "game" would be written "gemu" in romaji.

• 英語ができますか？ = ei go ga dekimasu ka? = English language [grammar particle] to-be-capable [question marker]? = Do you speak English?
• 少しできます。 = sukoshi dekimasu. = little to-be-capable. = I speak a little bit (of English or Japanese or whatever).
• すみません,私はカナダじんです。わかりません。 = sumimasen, watashi wa kanada jin desu. wakarimasen. = excuse me, I [topic particle] Canada person to-be. to-no-understand. = Sorry, I'm Canadian. I don't understand.
• ごめんなさい。 = gomennasai. = sorry.
• だいじょぶ。 = daijobu = It's okay.
• だいじょぶ? = daijobu? = Is it okay?
• ありがとう。 = arigatou. = Thank you.
• でんわ = denwa = telephone (the noun, not the verb)
• トイレ = toire = toilet
• 男 = otoko = men
• 女 = onna = women

It might be handy to carry around a Katakana chart, as many words derived from English will be written in Katakana. You can try to decode the stuff, and figure out "Hoteru" means "Hotel", "gemu" means "game", "toire" means "toilet", "depato" means "department store", and so on. Just keep in mind that many English phrases are abbreviated to the first few syllables of each word, so "GuitarFreaks and Drummania" is "gitado", and "Potatos (french fries) and onion rings" is "potaoni", "restaurant" is "resu", etc.

• ゲーセン。 = ge-sen = game center = arcade.
• 駅。 = eki = train station
• この辺りの地図はありますか？ = kono atari no chizu wa arimasu ka? = this area [relation] map [topic] exist [question]? = Do you have a map of this area?
• これは、どこですか？ = kore wa, doko desu ka? = this [topic particle], where to-be [question marker]? = This (point to something on a map), where is it?
• ゲセンはどこですか？ = gesen wa doko desu ka? = game-center [topic] where to-be [question marker]? = Where is the Arcade?
• 地図で教えてくれませんか？ = chizu de oshiete kuremasen ka? = map using show give [question]? = Can you show me on the map?
• 書いてください。 = kaite kudasai. = to-write please. = Please write it down for me.

I recommend you carry a map with you, so you can point to locations and use "kore wa, doko desuka?" to ask for directions. Apparently I look Japanese, so I had the problem of people assuming I understood and spoke Japanese fluently. I used the strategy of opening the conversation with "ei go ga dekimasuka?" with a thick accent to make it clear I was a foreigner. You may or may not need to do this too. In "watashi wa kanada jin desu", jin means "person" and "kanada" means Canada, so "kanada jin" means Canadian. In general, you can just say the name of your country ("amerika jin" = American, "furansu jin" = French, "o-sutoraria jin" = Australian, etc.) unless you're English (i.e. British). It's not "burita-n jin". I don't know what it is. You're out of luck. Also, apparently a lot of Japanese people don't really know the difference between Canada and America (it's all America to them). Don't take it personally.

• 英語のメニューがありますか？ = ei go no menyu- ga arimasu ka? = English language [posession] menu [subject] exist [question]? = Do you have an English menu?
• これ、ください。 = kore, kudasai. = this, please.
• 値段をかいてもらえますか？ = nedan o kaite moraemasu ka? = price [object] to-write please-do-this-as-a-favor [question]? = Can you write down the price?
• 水 = mizu = water

When buying stuff, I almost never see the ￥ character. Instead, almost all the prices I see are followed by the 円 character. Both characters mean "Yen", and as a very rough approximation, 1 Yen is a bit more than 1 Canadian cent (a better approximation is 1 Canadian Dollar is 80 yen). Things are more expensive in Japan, but you tend to get better service (and you almost never tip), so it's a balance. Also note that there are some places you have to pay just to get in; but they don't charge you when you walk in! They charge you when you leave, which may end up being an embarassing situation, depending on how expensive the cover is (I got charged about $4 cover at a restaurant without knowing I was gonna get charged).

In all my travels in Japan, I only saw one McDonalds. I also saw a Wendy's, but the more popular fast food restaurant there seems to be Lotteria (ロッテリア), and MOS Burger. When I went there, on the ordering counter, the menu is printed with pictures, so you can just point to the burger you want. If you're going to MOS Burger, and you don't like tomatos, don't order the "Mos Burger", 'cause that's like just a burger with a giant slice of tomato. Order the "Hamburger". There's a big difference between, make sure you say the right one. French fries are called 「ポテト」 or "poteto" (i.e. "potato").

In some other restaurants, there's no "waiter" style staff, but only cooks. The way that works is you go up to a vending machine, put in your money, and press the button that has the picture of the food you want. A receipt will pop out. If you see a chef, walk up to him and give him the receipt and he'll prepare the food and give it to you. If you don't see a chef, just sit down at a table, and someone will come out to pick up the receipt (I guess the vending machine rings a bell in another room or something). I think this is to avoid having the chef deal with customers/handling money and so on.

I give you the Japanese term for water because that's the only drink I could think of that has a different name in Japanese than it does in English. Otherwise, you could probably say the name of most drinks in English, and they'll get what you want: Cola, Beer, Whiskey, Juice, etc. Oh yeah, tea is "ocha".

• ユースホステル = yu-su hosuteru = Youth Hostel.
• ラブホテルをさがしています。= labu hoteru o sagashite imasu= Love hotel [object] looking-for is. = I'm looking for a love hotel.
• いちばん安いホテルはどこですか？ = ichiban yasui hoteru wa doko desu ka? = number-one cheap hotel [topic] where to-be [question]? = Where's the cheapest hotel?

If you need a place to sleep, most people recommend youth hostel or capsule hotels ("kapuseru hoteru" or 「カプセルホテル」) but seriously, the cheapest place to sleep are love hotels. Love hotels, in case you're not familiar, is a hotel you rent by the hour for the purpose of having sex. You'll recognize them because when you want to rent a room, you'll see pictures of all the available rooms, some of them dimmed out, and you press the button to make your selection. Then usually an old woman (40s-60s) will give you the key. Even though love hotels are dirt cheap to sleep at, they tend to have Playstations, dedicated karaoke machines (no waiting for someone to load a disc, for example), and free condoms, shampoo and other gifts. The one issue with love hotels is that they tend to have rules about who's allowed to go in. I tried to get in with 3 girls once, and they said they only allow 2 people per room, for example. I don't know if you can get in alone, but it's worth a shot, right?

• 駅へはどう行けばいいですか？ = eki e wa dou ikeba iidesu ka? = train-station [destination] [topic] how go to-be [question]? = How do I get to the train station?
• あの漢字はどう読むんですが？ = ano kanji wa dou yomun desu ka? = those kanji [topic] how to-read to-be [question]? = How do you read those kanji?
• 書いてください。 = kaite kudasai. = to-write please. = Please write it down for me.
• この電車は（Shibuya)に停まりますか？ = kono densha wa (Shibuya) ni tomarimasu ka? = this electric-train [topic] (Shibuya) [location] to-stop [question]? = Does this train stop at (Shibuya)?
• （Shibuya）で降りたいのですが。 = (Shibuya) de oritai no desu ga. = [location] get off [posession] is. = I want to get off at Shibuya.

The Japanese metro system is complicated, but I figured it out and could travel alone after 2 or 3 days. First of all, I'll give warnings about why it's complicated: There's virtually no staff, and it's all done by machines, so it's tough to find someone to ask for help. There are multiple metro companies, and the ticket from one company is not compatible with other companies. When you buy a ticket, you have to buy the right ticket for the distance you're travelling. If your ticket is not expensive enough, they won't let you get off at certain stations. Tickets can get damn expensive; I think it can go up to $30 for a one way trip. There will be very few signs in romaji, so you'd better have a good grasp of Hiragana if not Kanji.

So here's how it works. There'll be a row of ATM like machines. That's where you buy your tickets. These are usually easy to find, 'cause you'll always see a huge crowd of people lined up behind them. Above these machines is a large map of the metro system. This map only shows what stations are connected to which other stations (i.e. a logical layout), and do not represent the actual physical layout of the metro system on Japan. The stations have been moved around for clarity, and so that it'll fit on the! That means you'll probably need to have your own map as well, which DOES show the physical layout of the metro stations, as well as the names of cities and such.

I'll call the map you have with the physical layout the "small map", and the map above the ticket machines the "big map". Using your small map, you need to figure out what station you want to go to. Then look for that same station on the big map. In Quebec each line is named after a colour, e.g. "the green line"; In Japan, each line has an actual name, and some of them are color coded, so you can use that to help find the station on the big map. Once you find your destination station on the big map, you'll see a number written next to it. This number can be anywhere from 150 to 3000. That's the price of the ticket to get from the station you're at to that station. So notice that price for the station you're currently at is always 0. Anyway, memorize the price, 'cause you'll need to enter it into the ticket machine.

Now that you know the price, you need to actually buy your ticket. Line up for your turn (since these machines are almost always busy), and when a free one presents itself, walk up to it. Don't rush, and take your time. There's always like 10 or 20 of these ticket machines in a row, so if you take a really long time to get your ticket, the people behind you will just go to another machine. Now you need to decide your ticket type. There will be buttons buttons with pictures (not Kanji, thank God), so it'll be pretty easy to figure out. Short stick-men are children and tall stick-men are adults. Some buttons have family combos, with two tall stickmen and two short stick men, for example, which will give you two adult tickets and 2 children tickets and so on. Just keep your life simple and always buy "1 adult". After you've selected your ticket type, it'll show a list of prices. Press the price that you memorized from the big map. Now you'll see an animated movie of a smiling bowing Japanese woman or something, which means you didn't screw up so far, so start putting your money in. The machine will give you your ticket, and your change. You no longer need to retain the price in memory any longer.

Now, back away from the ticket machine, but check the big map again! You need to plan your route, and it's usually easier to do it on the big map (with a logical layout) than on the small map (with a physical layout). Memorize the name of the line you need to take. If you need to change lines, memorize the names of all the lines, and the order you need to take them in, and what stops to get off at, and so on. Maybe you should write all that stuff down. Once you've planned a route, take out your small map and make sure you can find the same route you've planned out. This is because once you get on the train, you might not have access to the big map anymore. Once you've figured out the route on the small map, you can head for the turnstyles.

These turnstyles don't actually have turny-thingies. Instead, they look like you can walk right through it, but actually they have infrared sensors or something, so when you try to walk past when you're not allowed, two walls will pop out from either side blocking your way. Also, like the Quebec turnstyles, these things are two way, so make sure you don't walk into someone when you select a turnstyle to go through! They'll usually have little LCDs with a green arrow meaning it's okay to go through this one, or a red X meaning someone is in the process of going in the opposite direction.

You have to stick your ticket into the turnstyle. The turnstyle will stamp the ticket, and then spit it back out ON THE OTHER SIDE, so start walking through, but PICK UP YOUR TICKET AGAIN. You still need it. What happened was the turnstyle marked what your origin was. This is so that they can make sure you travelled the correct distance. You can always tell the difference between an unstamped ticket and a stamped one in that in stamped one will have a hole pierced through it.

Now you gotta find the right platform to board your train. The names of the lines will be written in Kanji. If you're lucky, they may also be written in Hiragana. If you're REALLY lucky, they might also be written in Romaji, but don't count on it. This is where you use your small map to find out which line you're supposed to take, memorize the kanji, and look for signs with the same kanji written on them. Follow the signs until you find the boarding platforms.

When you get on the train, start planning ahead! Take out your small map again and memorize the kanji for the next station. Then, as you arrive at the next station, check that you arrived where you expected by checking if the kanji written on the signs match! Also be careful, because some trains are marked as "express trains", and these trains will only stop at every 3rd station or so. Most of the trains I've seen (though not all!) had LCD or LED displays that showed exactly where you are on a map, so it's not too difficult, but you should still practice in case you arrive on one of those trains that don't have these displays. Repeat these steps as nescessary if you need to change lines: Use your small map to find the name of the line you need to get to, follow the signs to that line, board on the train, and check every station along the way.

When you get off the train at your destination station, go to the turnstyles, and put your ticket in again. If everything goes well, the machine will swallow your ticket, and you'll get to exit. I've never had this fail me, so I don't know what happens if you something goes wrong, but I'd assume those doors will close and not let you pass, and it'll give you back your ticket or something. In this case you're probably pretty screwed, and need to wander around aimlessly looking for someone who looks like they work here (hint: look for uniforms) and ask them for help. I'm told there are machines for adjusting your ticket price, but I have no idea what they look like. I'd imagine though, that once you found such a machine, it'd be pretty simple to use one. Stick your ticket in, it'll assume that the station you're at is the one you want to get off at, and then it'll print the difference in price, and you gotta insert money. Or something. I've never used them, so I don't know.

When I travel around Japan, I like my small map to contains both the layout of the streets, and the layout of the metro system. And then I like to write the names of the station in Hiragana (since they'll typically only be written in Kanji on the small map) onto the small map itself. To do this, you'll have to ask someone to read out the Kanji for you. You could ask them to write it down for you in Hiragana. This is handy because there will sometimes be more station names signs written in Hiragana than in Kanji. This is so kids who haven't learned how read or write Kanji yet can still use the metro system (whereas adults who already know Kanji, can still understand the hiragana, so writing the signs in Hiragana is "more universally legible").

I'll also mark points on the map, like good "4 songs for 100 yen" arcades, or a branch of the Lotteria restaurant, etc. It might be a good idea to carry around business cards of the hotel you're staying at too, so if you get lost, you can show the business card to people to ask for directions.

• 交番 = kouban = police
• 道に迷いました。 = michi ni mayoi mashita. = road [location] hesitation below-me. = I'm lost.
• 大使館に連絡したいのですが。 = taishikan ni renraku shitai no desu ga. = embassy [location] communication [possession] to-be [subject] = I want to contact my embassy.
• カナダに電話したいのですが。 = kanada ni denwashitai no desu ga. = Canada [destination] call [posession] to-be [subject] = I want to make a call to Canada.
• インターネットカフェがありますか？ = inta-netto kafe ga arimasu ka? = Internet Cafe [subject] exist [question]? = Is there an Internet Cafe?
• E-メールを見なければなりません。 = ii me-ru o minakereba narimasen. E mail [object] check I-have-to-do-this. = I need to check my e-mail.

If you're really in trouble, you could always try to find a police officer and explain you're a Canadian citizen and you don't speak Japanese, etc. Just remember that in Japan, the number for police is 110. They might get you to a Canadian embassy so you can call your family or something. You could also try to e-mail home, or post a comment here on NP.net.