I went to Subway today, and the girl who was serving me... I guess she doesn't speak much English. She asked me what I wanted, so I told her ham and cheese on white bread, 12 inches. She takes out brown bread, which isn't a good start, and then starts putting steak and cheese on it. She asks me if I want the bread toasted. I say "I want ham and cheese, hey?" She says "Toasted?" I say "I'm saying I want ham and cheese." She says "Yeah, yeah. You want toasted?" So I figure she's doing someone else's sandwhich while taking my order, so I say yes, I want it toasted. So she puts the steak and cheese on brown bread in the toaster.

She takes the steak and cheese out of the oven, and asks me if I want it all dressed. I say "That's not my sandwhich, hey?" She says "All dressed?" I say "I'm saying that's not my sandwhich." So this guy comes over and asks me if I ordered steak. I say no, I ordered ham and cheese. So he tells her "Ham and cheese". And she says "Ooooh, ham and cheese." So she takes out another brown bread (ugh), puts some ham on it, and then puts fucking nacho cheese on it instead of the cheddar cheese, picks it up, is about to put it in the oven, but then turns and asks me "is this okay?" I resign with "Yeah..." so she toasts it.

Now I'm absolutely dreading the next part, because I like ham, cheese and mayonaise. I don't want anything else. But for some reason, this is a very difficult concept for most Subway employees to grasp. It usually goes "All dressed? Oh, so just lettuce. What? No lettuce? So you want mayonaise and what else? Nothing else? Okay, so I'm gonna add some salt and pepper. What, no salt and pepper? Shit, too late man, sorry." But luckily it's the guy who dresses my sandwhich instead of the girl. Still, he stumbles over the concept of "just mayonaise" and I do get a few stray grains of salt and pepper on it. I guess it's better than dealing with the girls, as I would probably have had to delt with pickles, onions, chilli and God knows what else.